Common Condition Causes Girls to Faint While Doing Their Hair
Oh, great. Yet another thing for me to worry about. As reported in the local paper this morning a condition called Hair-grooming Syncope is sweeping the nation. I’m not joking.
Imagine this scenario: As the radiation-filled sun rays filter through my window I awaken to the blinding light. I’m sleep deprived as usual, probably due to a combination of heartburn (shouldn’t have eaten that trans-fat filled pizza last night) and sleep apnea. My joints ache, probably due to some form of alien toxic mold drifting through my room. The hypoallergenic bed linens won’t protect me, so I’m told I’ll need a HEPA air purifier to help scrub the air, and a humidifier because I live in a desert.
I plod across the carpet to the shower. It may be filled with dust mites and pet dander. The walls in my house are probably built with tainted drywall from China and and covered with lead-containing paint. The vinyl flooring is slippery when wet, and only slightly less slippery when dry. And this is all before I step into the shower.
Today’s world is a dangerous place. Sometimes it makes me yearn for simpler times. At least cavemen only had to deal with saber-tooth tigers. Perhaps the occasional Tyrannosaurus Rex. Certainly nothing as serious as Hair-grooming Syncope.
And yet the life expectancy today is higher than it’s ever been. Can anyone help me make sense of this?
4 responses to “Common Condition Causes Girls to Faint While Doing Their Hair”
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Thank you for your blog. I have read 3 of your articles so far and I am laughing hysterically. I will be sharing these through social media.
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